Many people have told me they admire my self-confidence. In particular, how I seem to not give a fuck about what anyone else thinks. Or rather, how I don't let it affect me. Water off a duck's back, and all that. To many people it looked like I wasn't affected if people didn't like me and that I was happy to say "take it or leave it... you either love me or you don't!" But the truth is, I have always tried to please others.
I would dumb myself down in conversations to please others (still working on that). I would ask people questions and get them talk about themselves because people love that ego stroke - if they were happy to talk about themselves then I didn’t have to! But more importantly if they were feeling good then I was feeling good. But I still left the situation feeling drained and disappointed in myself.
It's only been in recent years where I have explored this part of my personality. Why am I such a people please, yet at the same time I really don't care what people think of me? Why am I trying so hard to make everyone else happy?
Around 5 years ago I started to discover the answers. The truth is I don’t care what people think or feel about me. I just do me and trust I'll find my own people! But I care what people think and feel in general because I end up feeling that too. As a psychic empath I am absorbing everything they are feeling and thinking. Until my early 20's I hadn't learnt to protect my own energy field and to differentiate my own feelings and thoughts from someone else’s. This was actually a turning point in my use of crystals but that's a story for another post.
What is an empath?
An empath is someone who is able to understand and experience what someone else is feeling and thinking. Some empaths can physically feel the trauma, pains or emotions in their body. Many empaths find themselves feeling tried, drained and emotional, often not knowing why... but it is because they have taken on the energy of the other person in order to help them. And that is the important part of an empath definition that often gets left out. HELPING OTHERS. The reason empaths are so special is because they have the ability to shift the energy. They are able to take away someone else's pain and emotions and replace them with hope and love. But an empath can only do this if they are grounded, protected and aware of their abilities as an empath in the first place!
Empaths can change this world. They have often come from a hard past themselves, suffering depression, abuse, anxiety, addictions, poverty, loneliness and pain. They have trouble understanding their story and pain but part of the reason for it is because they are able to truly understand and empathise with others in the future - but only when they shift from that low vibrational story... understand, accept and heal, ready to help others.
Here are some other points about empaths. Do any of them resonate with you?
- Empaths are sought out by people from all walks of life. Complete strangers open up about personal feelings and experiences and dump their shit on an empath, and then say "wow I don't know why I'm telling you all this, I don't even know you!" People are drawn to the empath for unknown reasons (to them!), but it's actually because their subconscious and psychic energy knows that the empath can help them.
- Empaths are PEOPLE PLEASERS because they want the other person to be happy no matter what so that the empath themselves doesn’t feel any negative energy. They feel responsible for the happiness of others. As you can imagine this is a fast track to complete burnout. Empaths feel guilty when doing something for themselves because they don't want to "rock the boat", they want to make sure everyone else is happy.
- Some empaths have sensory issues and are disgnosed with disorders. They also can't watch or read upsetting news and stories or even watch violent movies.
- Empaths are often confused if they are an introvert or extrovert. They may love to socialise when they're doing it but before and after the event they feel anxious and exhausted! Many empaths are extroverts but haven't learn to zip up their own energy field before going out so become drained, and then blame the act of socialising for how they mentally, emotionally and physically feel.
- On that topic, some empaths have trouble going to places with large crows such as a shopping centre, markets or a concert. So many people overwhelm the empath's energy field and they are left drained!
- An empath just knows when someone is lying. Especially when they continuously ask if everything is okay (because they know it's not!) and the other person is lying saying "yes everything is fine, I'm fine". The empath knows this is a lie without a doubt, because they can feel it!
- To piggyback off the last point, empaths just know stuff in general. They can't explain how they know but they KNOW, beyond intuition. For some empaths this will be major, and is linked to an additional ability called claircognizance.
- Lots of empaths have digestive and stomach issues or sensitivities. They need to continually work on the Solar Plexus chakra to help this.
If an empath is not aware of their abilities or doesn't know how to set boundaries and protect themselves then they may experience empath burnout. They can experience total exhaustion in all of their four bodies (physical, mental, emotional and spiritual) and even begin to suffer illness/disease. They may start to feel withdrawn, sad or anxious and experience lower back aches and headaches.
But knowledge and practise can prevent empath burnout! Here are three simple ideas to get started:
First, understand your story. What is your journey? What pain have you experienced? Have you healed? Some of us are always healing but you know what I mean. Can you see why you experienced whatever you went through, and not hold anger, resentment or guilt from the past? Ask, how can your experience help others?
Grounding stones like black tourmaline, smokey quartz, hematite and petrified wood are important to ground you and your energy. Hold them in your hands as you meditate or simply carry them with you, knowing they are keeping you grounded. I like to place them under my feet for 20 or so minutes every evening.
Every day, cleanse your aura (energy field) with Selenite. Selenite often comes in long sticks (known as rods or wands) and are very affordable. Selenite is known as liquid light and is the crystal for cleansing your aura. Use it in a sweeping motion down your body from your head to toes, in front and behind, asking or intending that it is sweeping away any lower vibrations and removing energies that are not yours, keeping your field clear and pure.
Carry extra stones for psychic protection such as Lapis Lazuli, Amethyst and my personal favourite Tiger's Eye. Program it by asking or intending that it protects you from all forms of harm.
See your self surrounded by a bubble of white light. This bubble cannot be penetrated! It is there to keep you protected and guided. Another technique is to imagine you are wearing an invisible hoodie. When you are ready to seal your energy field, say when you're about to enter a meeting or go shopping, zip it up! Pretend to do this (physically pretend!) or just visualise it. See it sealing your space, knowing there is a protective barrier between you and anyone you meet.
It comes down to protecting your own energy and choosing how you put boundaries in place and who you interact with. Because being an empath can be a wonderful experience! Being able to touch and help so many people is beyond describable! Because being an empath is incredibly special and important in this lifetime. The world needs you, dear empath!